My Greatest Fear #44: The Copy Machine Light

stock-footage-assistant-makes-copies-of-files-in-the-copy-machine-with-the-door-open-to-see-the-scanner-lightToday at work, I made a copy on our big copy machine. As I always do, I closed the lid all the way before pressing the Start button. Because, you know, I don’t want to be blinded by the copier light.

When you were a kid, did your parents tell you not to look directly at the sun, lest you go blind? That’s how I feel about the copy machine light. It’s such a bright, intense light that I’m legitimately worried about the impact it has on my retinas.

But it goes beyond that. The copy machine light isn’t like the sun, static in the sky, so far away. The copy machine light is right there in your face, and it knows things. It creates two where only one existed.

So what is it doing to me if it looks into my eyes and sees my soul? Does it create a copy of that too?

I don’t have these answers–they’re not in the owner’s manual. But I’m not taking any chances. I will continue to close the copier every time I use it.

Do you fear the copy machine light? Or are you one of the few who is bold enough to look directly into the light? Have you developed any super powers as a result?


7 Responses to “My Greatest Fear #44: The Copy Machine Light”

  1. Bryce says:

    Have you actually read the owner’s manual? I’m pretty sure “soul copying” is covered in most manuals.

  2. Jennifer says:

    Copiers are bad news all around, despite their ability to be productive. Copiers also emit particulate matter in the form of carbon…I actually use to leave the room when I had to make a lot of copies. I do love my duplex printer though. So no, I think you are wise not to look into the light. LOL.

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      Jennifer–I wasn’t aware of the particulate matter. That’s horrifying! I will wear a mask when using the copier from now on.

  3. Colleen says:

    This line made me laugh: “So what is it doing to me if it looks into my eyes and sees my soul? Does it create a copy of that too?” It all sounds a little spooky, lol.

  4. darcyj76 says:

    Do not go towards the light, Jamey! Avoid the light! I bet you’re right, though, there are probably copies of the brave people who look into the light out there somewhere.

  5. Katie says:

    I photocopied my boobs once. They seem to have super powers too, at least against most men. Now I know why!

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