Sharks Can Tweet Too

2013-08-06-sharkThis recent headline on Springwise made me smile: “In Australia, sharks now tweet when they approach the beach.” Best headline ever? Possibly.

Even better, the concept is actually really cool. An organization is attaching tracking devices to sharks off the coast of Western Australia (I’m guessing they get their summer interns to catch and tag the sharks). When a shark swims close to shore, the tracking device triggers a tweet to warn people on shore and in the water (maybe? Who tweets while swimming? I bet Lady Gaga does).

Unfortunately, the actual tweets are completely unimaginative. Like, “Fisheries advise: tagged Bronze whaler shark detected at Meelup receiver at 12:41:00 AM on 26-Jan-2014”.

Please help me think of some better tweets. These are sharks we’re talking about! Look at this guy with his big toothy grin. Imagine getting a tweet from him that said:

  • I’m comin’ to eat you! (at 12:41:00 AM on 26-Jan-2014)
  • If you’re reading this, it’s too late!
  • Can sharks swim on land? Let’s find out. #bipedal4u
  • Hey, come check out the water. It feels great in here. #notashark
  • Let’s be YouTube celebrities together. Turn your camera on and grab your board. #soulsurfer

If you were a shark, what would you tweet?

4 thoughts on “Sharks Can Tweet Too”

  1. You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

    “Jaws” was totally a propaganda piece. Let’s talk this out.

    It’s okay, I’ll wait. There’s bound to be a tornado sooner or later and Ian Ziering can’t be everywhere.

  2. I feel like we’re missing out on the obvious choice here:

    “Duuun dun.

    Duuun dun.

    Dun dun dun dun dun dun.”

    …which is my poor attempt at the Jaws theme song if anyone was wondering.


Leave a Reply

Discover more from

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading