Ruin a Children’s Book

I stumbled upon a random phenomenon today. Apparently a bunch of internet celebrities tried to be funny this morning by tweeting adjusted titles of famous children’s books that “ruin” the books…and they succeeded in spades. It’s pretty amazing. Here are some of my favorites.








What was your favorite childhood book? Perhaps we can try to ruin the title in the comments.

8 thoughts on “Ruin a Children’s Book”

  1. Jamey @midnight does this almost every night at midnight eastern and all of Twitter celebrates wordplay! I’m not often up that late but I always like to chime in when I am. It’s hilarious.

  2. Where The Girls Gone Wild Things Are

    Where the Red Fern Grows Until I Forget to Water It and It Dies and How Will I Ever Be Able to Raise Children If I Can’t Even Keep a Stupid Plant Alive and STOPYELLINGATMEITSTOOMUCHPRESSURE!

    Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret. Sorry I Couldn’t Hear You Over All The Other Voices in My Head.

    Goodnight Keith Moon

    How to Eat Fried Worms When Your Unemployment Check Runs Out

    Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing Who Never Does Amount to Anything

    The Giving You a Hard Time Tree

    The Magical Mushrooms School Bus

    Everyone Poops, Especially If You Have Irritable Bowel Syndrome

    The Babysitter’s Fetish Club

    Oh, The Places You’ll Go When You Take Ecstasy

    Guess How Much I Love You? Nope, Not That Much.

    The Always a Taker, Never a Giver

    • Please don’t tell me you just came up with those on your own. Because if you did, you should be writing comedy for a living.

    • Katie, YES! Amazing work. I love these.

      No More Jumping on the Goddamn Bed While Mommy’s Hungover
      Dead Cat in the Hat: Magic Tricks Gone Awry
      Green Eggs and Ham: A Lesson in Salmonella
      Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (no alterations needed)
      Amelia Bedelia: An Exercise in Learning How To Make Up Words Instead of Learning to Rhyme
      Caps For Sale At A Chemo Ward
      Curious George Discovers Bi-Sexuality
      Frog and Toad Are Friends Until Societal Pressure on Inter-Species Bromances Becomes Too Much
      Couldn’t Make Way For Ducklings In Time


Leave a Reply

Discover more from

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading