The Official Haircut of the 2014 World Cup

Every 4 years I look to the elite athletes performing in the World Cup for some amazing soccer, Oscar-worthy dives, and a new hairstyle to set trends for years to come.

This year, though, I’m a bit baffled by the hairstyle of choice. If you haven’t noticed, here’s what it looks like:


Shaved sides leading up to a near-mohawk crop of greased-up hair on top, each section delineated by a straight line.

I just…I just don’t get it.

First, it doesn’t seem particularly functional. A shaved head in soccer is very functional, especially in warm weather. However, I get that these athletes like to add some sense of style while they’re on the world stage.

But this just looks kind of odd to me. Is this a big style elsewhere in the world and I just don’t know about it. Are businessmen on Wall Street marching to their jobs with shaved sides and a pile of grease on top? Are hipsters in Geneva visiting the barber once a week to keep that line razor-sharp?

I guess anything is better than this: