The Haircut

When I was growing up, I rarely went to the barber. My mom or dad typically cut my hair, especially when I started opting for buzz cuts in high school.

In college, there were several guys on my floor who cut each other’s hair. Nothing fancy, just a razor with an attachment and a pile of hair on the bathroom floor.

For a few years after college, I cut my own hair. It wasn’t quite a buzz cut, but I basically used a razor with a one-inch attachment on top and a quarter-inch attachment on the side. The back of my head was tricky, but I used a patented two-mirror system that worked pretty well.

For the last 10 years I’ve been paying to get a haircut once every 2 months, as I wear longer than I can manage with a razor, but every couple of years I convince myself that I can still give myself a haircut. I do this for the same reason I eat fast food once every 3-4 months: To remind myself why it’s a bad idea.

That’s what happened this weekend. The hair on top of my head was a good length, but the sides were getting long and puffy. I don’t like the way that looks, especially with the large amount of grey/white hair I have on the sides.

So without thinking about it, on Saturday afternoon I pulled out my razor and started cutting.

Once you’ve cut a quarter-inch path through inch-long hair, there’s no going back. At the same time, I realized that this was probably a mistake. 30 minutes and 3 attachments later, I had…well, some would call it a haircut. As I said on Facebook, “It looks kind of like Brad Pitt’s haircut in his new movie, Fury. Just imagine my face instead of Brad Pitt’s, and a bad wig instead of Brad Pitt’s hair.”

I also said that I probably wouldn’t be appearing in public for a few weeks, but I actually did go to church this morning. A few people who had seen the Facebook comment mentioned the haircut, but I don’t think I attracted any disgusted stares.

Here, you can judge for yourself:

haircut 2014

Have you ever cut your own hair? How were the results?

7 thoughts on “The Haircut”

  1. Jeez, you had me thinking you were kind of like a enterpreneurial 30-something white Mister T for a minute. No, it looks fine. Could use a little evening-out at the top but it otherwise looks fine.

    I never cut my own hair but I once let a girlfriend do it. After the first “Oops” and big clump of hair falling in front of my eyes, I knew this was a stupid idea but hoped it would make up for the next stupid thing I said or did. It didn’t. When she got done and I didn’t say “Hey, I love it!” she didn’t talk to me for a day or so.

    • Yeah, I think the key is that I didn’t attempt to cut the top at all. Just the sides and back.

      Ha ha…you know you’re in trouble when you hear “oops” in that situation. I once tried to cut a girlfriend’s hair, thinking it was as easy as taking the back of her hair in one bunch and cutting it off near the bottom. Nope. I had a new respect for hair stylists after that unfortunate situation.

  2. I cut my own hair every time. #3 attachment for everywhere on my head. That keeps it simple. It is much harder to transition to something longer on top. It is nice to have Kelcey to clean up any spots I miss/can’t see though.


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