Top Lines from This Week’s Episodes of New Girl and The Mindy Project

New-Girl-season-4-episode-5-2Okay, let’s try this again. Last week’s lines might have been too out of context and too character-specific. Let me know if these are funny to you regardless of if you watch these shows. If not, I’ll stop posting them. 🙂



Jess (on the phone with her boss, the school principal): Did you just call me “dog”?

Principal: You’re vice-principal now–we’re peers.

(Jess considers this, decides she’s on the same page.)

Principal: Oh, good news–we have a replacement for your science class.

Jess: It’s about time, you son of a bitch! … Hello? …. Too far?


Coach (defending his claim that working at a school is sexy): Just look at that CPR poster–it’s hot as crap!

Jess (examining the poster): What the…why aren’t they wearing shirts? Are they drinking wine? (tears down poster)




Dr. Reed (in discussion with Peter about participating in a beer pong contest): I actually have amazing aim. As a child it was my job to put ice in my father’s drink. If I got too close, he would swat at me.”


Dr. Reed (continuing to convince Peter they should compete together on the same team): Peter, we used to be such good chums.

Peter (agreeing): We did used to share a work toothbrush.

Dr. Reed: We did?!

Beverly: Yeah, we all did.

Peter: We did?!


Mindy (convincing Danny that she would mend a lie she made to a colleague): Fine, I will tell the truth…but I’m never coming clean about my looting during Sandy.


Such good shows! What’s your favorite comedy on TV right now?

3 thoughts on “Top Lines from This Week’s Episodes of New Girl and The Mindy Project”

  1. These made me laugh! Actually, even your opening paragraph made me chuckle. Perhaps the timing (my current state of mind/happiness levels) but re-reading the last post, I prefer this one though it’s hard to pinpoint why.

    Perhaps the extra context made them more relateable.

    I enjoy watching Impractical Jokers, Dave Gorman’s Modern Life is Goodish and Russel Howard’s Good News. Those 3 shows always elicit a few laughs from my belly.

    I also watched the final season of US Office, having not seen any before. I thought it was really clever, the way they acknowledged the ‘premise’ and the final show got me a bit teary. I have no desire to go back and watch all the buildup as I feel I enjoyed the ‘payoff’ without having spent time watching the earlier episodes. Almost a cheat! 😉

    • Thanks! I’ve never heard of any of those shows–are they British?

      Very interesting that you jumped to the final season of The Office. I think the buildup is worth it, but you did get to see some interesting stuff (like the acknowledgment of the cameras).

      • Impractical Jokers is an American ‘hidden camera’ show where the pranksters dare each other to make a fool of themselves, rather than the public. So it’s quite good natured. Reminds me of Trigger Happy.

        The other 2 are British. Standup comedy mixed with clips from the news etc.

        Well worth checking out!


Leave a Reply

Discover more from

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading