Sex vs. Friends vs. Love vs. Creations

The ResistanceI’m using compatibility questions from the dating site OkCupid for blog fodder. Here’s today’s question:

If you could only choose one of the following, would you rather (a) have great sex, (b) have great friends, (c) have great love, and (d) have great creations?

For the sake of comparison, let’s assume that you get one great thing out of those four options, and the rest are subpar.

This question seemed pretty innocuous at first, but then I realized that I didn’t have a gut answer. So I started thinking about each of the options:

  1. Have great sex: Great sex is fantastic, yes. But is it worth giving up great friends, great love, and great creations? Just in terms of time, sex takes up by far the least of those options.
  2. Have great friends: This definitely jumps out as a top pick. Not only do great friends make my life so much better than it would be without them, but I feel like I’m a better person (for myself and for the world) because of my friends.
  3. Have great love: All you need is love, right? I’m going to assume this refers to romantic love (platonic love would fit into the “friends” category). While this is certainly something I’d like to have and I’ve enjoyed the short bursts of love I’ve felt over the years, some of my happiest days, weeks, months, and years have been without any form of romantic love.
  4. Have great creations: This is perhaps the toughest. I simply can’t imagine a life without the ability to create. But I guess the question isn’t suggesting that I can’t create stuff–it’s saying that I’m not good at creating stuff. Which I’m perfectly fine with. Obviously I want to create things that are great, but I wouldn’t give up great friendships just to be great at creating.

So my answer is now clear: I choose great friends.

What do you choose and why?


3 Responses to “Sex vs. Friends vs. Love vs. Creations”

  1. UncouthTooth says:

    Sex is momentary. Friends come and go as we/they change. Being in love is not always a guarantee of being together. Great creations are the great compromise between all of them. It can get you great sex, bring friends into your life, and give reasons for someone to love you. Great creations are a way to leave a piece of ourselves to posterity, change perceptions and potentials, and improve the world.

    • Jamey Stegmaier says:

      I like your reasoning! I think the question (purely as a hypothetical) was saying that you could only have one “great” thing, though. Would you still choose creations if you knew it wouldn’t help sex, friends, or love?

      • UncouthTooth says:

        What I think is being implied is degrees of satisfaction not necessarily subpar. But let’s say the best sex I have had has been subpar. Then isn’t subpar sex the best I have ever had? Let’s say I know the sex is subpar then doesn’t ie being in a band (great creations) improve the chances of having better sex. Let’s say it never rally improves then at least I have the satisfaction of affecting people’s lives and adding something to the world.

        The way I see it is that it’s best to do the thing that gives you the most opportunity. I guess it’s kind of meta gaming the answer though, but I am a gamer so…

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