What I Say in My Sleep

screen322x572Three months ago, I learned about and started using an app called Sleep Talk. Every night, I activate the app and place my phone on my headrest. When I wake up in the morning, I can look at any point in the night when I made any sound and play it back.

Usually the sounds are pretty standard nighttime sounds: snoring, sneezing, farting, telling the cats to stop attacking each other. But a few times a week for a few seconds, I’ll say some pretty weird stuff. It’s amazing.

I discovered this morning that the app has a built-in function to send specific clips to custom URLs so I can share them with anyone and everyone. So I picked some of my favorites from the last month and posted them online. If you’re on board for a weird little journey into what happens in my bed at 2:00 am, see below:

  • We’re right next to it (part 1 and part 2): I’m so curious about what we were next to!
  • Chotto stop (here): Some of my favorite clips feature me mixing Japanese (a language I speak but haven’t used in many years) and English (my primary language). This is one of them. “Chotto” means “a little.”
  • Nonsense (here): I think this is me mixing Japanese words and English words within the same words, which adds up to nonsense.
  • Doba doba doooh (here): I really, truly hope this clip makes you laugh even close to as much as it makes me laugh. It makes no sense at all, but I say it in this sing-song voice that just delights me. So, so weird. I’ve been listening to this all day, and I can’t get enough of it.

This is 100% real, folks. This is what I say in my sleep. If you’ve been using the app since my previous sleep talk post, do you have any clips to share?

13 thoughts on “What I Say in My Sleep”

  1. These are hilarious!

    I think I’m most surprised at how clearly you’re speaking in those first two. I figured you would sound kind of groggy, but it’s the exact opposite. You sound really alert!

  2. These are hysterical. You sounded exactly like yourself except in the last one. I vote for an exorcism 🙂


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