Me Too?

In the wake of the Harvey Weinstein allegations, I’ve seen a lot of revelatory posts on social media about sexual harassment. It’s been powerful for me to see how many people have written the following message (sometimes with a specific story, sometimes without):

Me Too.

If all the people who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too.” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.

It’s appalling to see how many people (mostly women, but men too) have echoed their version of this post.

While I’d never want to make this issue about me, given the inclusive nature of these posts, I had to wonder, “Me too? Have I been sexually harassed or assaulted?”

The weird thing is, I don’t think so, but I’m not sure, and I’m almost hesitant to say because I don’t want to diminish the experiences of others. The only example I can think of is one time many years ago when a girl was flirting with me at a club, and she grabbed my crotch. I wasn’t interested in her and didn’t want her to grab my crotch, but I also didn’t feel assaulted. However, I can understand that for many people, that would be a violation.

Beyond that, I’ve either gotten lucky or I’ve repressed some stuff. Either way, it doesn’t make me any less empathetic of anyone who has experienced sexual harassment or assault. If you have a “me too” story, I’m so sorry you’ve had that experience.

4 thoughts on “Me Too?”

  1. Yes that is assault and yes it can be assault without feeling like assault! I’m sorry that happened. And 10 points for being cognizant that it’s not about you, but fair to wonder about and point out that it happened to you.

    What is really interesting to me is the few men (and even a woman) I’ve seen admitting “I have” – that they have sexually assaulted or harassed someone. Because at this point I would hope most people know it’s rare to impossible for a woman to have escaped this. Because truly, the aggressors should be doing the work, not the victims. We shouldn’t rely on victims to be willing to share their stories or brand themselves, we should be holding people accountable for their actions and shifting our culture – calling people out, refusing to laugh at demeaning jokes or letting people bragging about assault. Although I admit I don’t know how we do that when the President is elected after bragging about it and not held accountable.

    But if “me too” can help us start to wake up then here we are.

    • Thanks Emma! That’s an interesting point about calling people out. I haven’t seen anyone say “I have”–how have people responded to that? On one hand, it’s honest of them to admit that they did something wrong. On the other, it puts them in the spotlight. Maybe that’s a good thing?

  2. Having followed your blog on your games site, I am pleased to discover that you have extended your outreach. The effect of what you write on this topic and many others looks like an innovative kind of online “psychotherapy.” It differs from most psychotherapies in that your revelations about yourself engage others in conversations about important issues of our time at the personal level where real change occurs, both in the conversers and beyond in the world—a much needed blessing, thank you!

    • Thanks Dorothy! I’ve written my daily personal blog for about 10 years now–it actually predates my Stonemaier blog by quite a bit. 🙂 I’m glad you found it!


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