How Do You Feel About Marriage?

“While marriage probably isn’t something I’m going to pursue anymore, I still really like the idea of having a shower the size of a small room.”

After mentioning this in a recent blog post, a few people asked about my thoughts on marriage. I’m happy to share.

Let’s start with a brief chronological rundown of my relationship history:

  • I went to college assuming I would find my future wife there (that’s how my parents met). I dated on and off, but nothing stuck.
  • In my mid-20s, I had a 3-year relationship with a woman. We lived together for a little over half of that time. We talked about marriage, but it just didn’t work out.
  • In my late-20s, I had a 1-year long-distance relationship with a woman who had already been engaged and was ready to get married. I didn’t end up sharing her feelings.
  • For the next 2 years, I dated a LOT via online dating. Lots of first dates, but also quite a few mini-relationships.

That leads me up to 2012, which coincides with the creation of Stonemaier Games. At the time I still romanticized the idea of finding the right woman and getting married, but the more I immersed myself into the company, the less interest I had in dating. I view dating as a precursor to marriage, so the less I dated, the less I thought about marriage.

I didn’t even realize it was happening, but I’ve had a few moments of self-examination and introspection. What I’ve concluded is that while I’m still open to the idea of marriage, it simply may not be a good fit for me.

I have a lot of respect for people who pursue, commit to, and make a life with a permanent partner, but for me, I really like my life the way it is. Even if I suddenly had a ton of free time instead of working 80-hour weeks, I don’t think I’d want to spend a significant amount of time with one other person.

I love romance, flirtation, and affection. I like taking care of other people in little doses. And I worry a little bit about growing old and not having someone to take care of me if I ever need it. But for me, all of that doesn’t add up to a huge impetus to pursue marriage.

Please keep in mind that this is a very personal perspective–this is about me, not you. I’d like to hear your personal perspective to marriage (or any long-term, committed partnership) in the comments if you’re open to sharing.