My Main Concern About an Alien Invasion

Every day or so I hear the roar of an airplane above my building as it prepares for a landing at the St. Louis airport. Logically I know it’s an airplane, but the imaginative portion of my brain sometimes wonders if I’m hearing the sound of a massive alien spacecraft.

It’s then that the logical part of my brain kicks back in, usually to say, “Man, it would be really inconvenient if aliens chose this exact moment to attack.”

“This exact moment” usually refers to (a) me not wearing any pants, (b) me not having showered yet, (c) me not having eaten lunch, or (d) a host of other minor inconveniences that suddenly seem like a big deal if aliens attack.

Like, even right now. I’m winding down for the night. I’m not tired yet, but I’ll need to sleep soon. It really wouldn’t be cool if the aliens attacked now…I could maybe stay awake until 1:00 am if necessary, but after that I’m going to get really grumpy. That’s not good for anyone.

Think about it: If aliens attacked right now, is it a good time for you? Or could it be slightly better if you finished that email first or if you brushed your teeth?