Are You Able to Grow an “Isolation Beard”?

I’ve noticed more and more media personalities (and random people) growing “isolation beards.” I’m not quite sure of the reason or motivation behind the beards, as these peoples’ faces are appearing on camera just as much–if not more–than before.

Regardless, isolation beards seems to be a trend, so I want one too. The problem is that my hair doesn’t work that way. It’s too pale and patchy to amount to anything resembling a beard, and even after weeks it’s no longer than a few millimeters.

Also, Megan’s not a fan of the idea. She called it “weird.”

So I wanted to see if there are others out there who wish they could grow an isolation beard but don’t have the follicles to make it happen. I stand in solidarity with you!

8 thoughts on “Are You Able to Grow an “Isolation Beard”?”

  1. I’m actually on my third beard since all this started. I keep shaving it because when it really comes in, its too grey these days.

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  2. Ha ha, “isolation beards seems to be a trend, so I want one too” might be my single favorite sentence you’ve ever written in a blog! I’m 41 now and started growing my beard in January of 2019. It was an accident at first. My facial hair also grows rather slowly, and I don’t like shaving, so I only shave about every 2 weeks, typically. That January, I had gone an extra week or two and noticed that, for the first time in my life, my beard was coming in more or less fully. My hair isn’t light, but my beard has always been patchy, like you describe. Anyway, at the age of 40, apparently my beard decided to come in. So, on a lark, I let it. Then it kind of grew on me (pardon the expression), and I have kept it since. I also kind of have a weak jawline, so this helps. 🙂 I don’t know how long I’ll keep it, but my wife doesn’t mind it and maybe even likes it a little, so it’s here for the time being. It’s neither think nor luxurious, but after identifying as a person who simply can’t grow a beard for my entire life, I’m happy with it.

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    • Congratulations, Ryan! I’m glad to hear that you’re finally able to grow a proper beard–that gives me hope for myself someday too. 🙂

      Reply
  3. I admire that something motivates you to want facial hair every couple of years, and that you give it “the old college try,” each time lamenting how challenging it is for you or pining over other men who have thick, full, manly, enticing, “smells-of-pine-and-axes” facial hair. In honor of your hairlust, I’ve captured several of your previous entries here:

    https://jameystegmaier.com/2009/02/newsflash-local-man-tries-to-grow-cool-beard-fails/
    https://jameystegmaier.com/2015/07/i-drove-a-truck-and-hit-puberty-today/
    https://jameystegmaier.com/2012/05/tolkien-was-born-in-middle-earth-and-other-misperceptions/
    https://jameystegmaier.com/2014/07/my-new-published-author-haircut/ (a reference to the previous entry)
    https://jameystegmaier.com/2012/11/i-am-more-than-just-a-mustache/
    This NY Times article, which I’m pretty sure was written by you under a pseudonym: https://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/31/fashion/oh-to-be-just-another-bearded-face.html

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  4. I could grow a glorious beard. I really, really want to as shaving really agitates my skin, but my wife says “No way.” She calls “No shave November” “Celibacy November” hahahahaha!!!

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