The 3 Dealbreakers (+1)

Today I listened to a thought-provoking chat with author Simon Sinek on The Diary of a CEO. Simon’s main topic is leadership and helping people who help others; it’s great. But in this chat the interviewer got him to delve into relationships, and I thought it was interesting to hear his take on dealbreakers.

Initially when the interviewer (Steven Bartlett) asks Simon about his dealbreakers, Simon shuts the door on the topic, saying that’s for him. But then Steven shares that he used to have a long list of things he looked for in a committed romantic relationship, and now he just has three; as it turned out, those were also Simon’s three.

I’ve linked this part of the video below, and I thought I would share the three, as it’s a nice distilled list that resonates with me. There’s also a bonus +1 that Simon added.

  1. Intellectual compatibility (teach and learn, stimulation)
  2. Emotional compatibility (showing up to grow together and make each other better)
  3. Sexual/creative compatibility (differentiate from physical attraction)
  • The bonus is “circumstances,” with the example being that you could meet an amazing person who fits all three categories, but maybe they live halfway around the world or they’re already married.

The additional key they mentioned is that finding the right person isn’t just about finding someone who fits those 3 characteristics for you; rather, you also have to fit those three requirements for them. That’s one of the reasons it can be so difficult to find the right partner.

As someone in a long-term committed relationship (with Megan), this list is a good reminder that these are three major things things to continually work on and grow.

What do you think about this list?

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