The following events are 100% true. They occurred on the evening of February 4, 2015 in the hallway outside of my condo unit.
10:09 pm: My friends are leaving my place following game night when one of them says, “What is that?” Someone else (identify unconfirmed) says, “Jamey, a dog pooped in the hallway.”
10:10 pm: I peek into the hallway to see what the fuss is all about. Indeed, there is a pile of poop in the hallway.
10:11 pm: I clean up the poop.
Ever since the events that unfolded last night, I’ve been trying to solve the mystery. Some facts line up, others don’t. Let’s start with my assumptions:
Assumption 1: The feces in question is dog poop.
Assumption 2: A dog deposited the poop in the hallway.
Assumption 3: The dog belongs to someone in the building, possibly someone who lives along my hall.
I don’t think it is the feces of any other species, and I doubt a dog’s owner would remove the poop from some other area and place it in the hallway. It makes sense that it’s a dog in my building, but from my floor? I’m not so sure. I only know of one dog that lives on my floor, and I haven’t seen him in quite some time.
So what happened here?
Every one of my theories ends with “…but who does that?!” Case in point:
Theory 1: Someone on my floor meant to take their dog outside last night, but the dog got away from them and pooped in the hallway. The person went back inside, intending to clean up the poop like any decent human being, but they got distracted by something and forgot about it…but who does that?!
Theory 2: It was snowing last night, so someone on my floor or another floor decided to let their dog poop in the hallway instead of going outside, and the person didn’t feel like cleaning it up…but who does that?!
Theory 3: One of my friends made the poop while leaving game night…but who does that?!
I would like to propose this mystery for season 2 of the Serial podcast. It has everything listeners want: A near-unsolvable mystery, few key witnesses, drama, love, police corruption, murder, seduction, dogs, board games, nostalgia…the list goes on.
What do you think? How did this happen? Will it happen again?