How Quickly Do You Accept Friend Requests?

Back in the my days of online dating, I was never one to ascribe to “rules” about when to text after a date. In fact, I’d usually send a text within an hour after the date to thank the lady for a good time, and then I’d wait to see if/when I found myself compelled to contact her again.

Basically, I don’t like playing games.

Recently I’ve found that there’s related aspect to my life that, unlike texting rules for dating, has caused me some minor consternation: friend requests on Facebook and LinkedIn.

Here’s the deal: I’m almost always online, so if someone offers me virtual friendship, I’m available to accept right away. It doesn’t take much thought, as I typically befriend people on Facebook if I’ve met them in person and I’m largely ambivalent to LinkedIn, so I’m happy to accept any non-spam requests there.

However, there’s a catch: I don’t want to seem like I’m too eager to accept their request, yet I also want to maintain a clean inbox. So I typically delete the request notification. Sometimes I later remember to accept; other times I forget.

This actually came to light recently because Facebook informed me that I would soon be reaching their maximum of 1,000 friend requests that I hadn’t acted on. I didn’t even know there was a limit!

What I really wish is that there were a gmail filter that could stall friend requests by a few days. That way I could accept all applicable requests right away without looking like the creep who accepts a request 20 seconds after you send it.

How quickly do you accept friend requests on Facebook or LinkedIn? Do you have this same problem? If so, do you have any solutions? Or am I just being ridiculous? That’s completely possible too.

8 thoughts on “How Quickly Do You Accept Friend Requests?”

  1. I generally won’t accept a friend request if I don’t actually know the person. Having met once isn’t enough if they didn’t leave an impression I can remember and acknowledge. I don’t meet as many folks as you do, but owning a FLGS I get a lot of requests. I usually point them to the stores page if I don’t either consider them a friend already or remember something about them that makes me want to become their actual friend.

    That’s just me though 🙂

    Thanks for the thought provoking discussion as always J. Hope to see you in Austin again real soon.

    • Eric: Thanks for sharing! It’s interesting to hear your perspective as someone who might meet a lot of people once in person–I can see how that wouldn’t be enough to justify a Facebook friendship. For me, I rarely meet new people in person, so if I do, it’s a bigger deal. 🙂

  2. Unless I’ve met someone in person and actually enjoyed talking to them, I typically don’t accept friend requests. But otherwise, I accept them pretty much as soon as they come in. I’m also not a game-player (as it pertains to this situation – obviously table-top is different).

  3. I’ve never thought about any rules/impressions that may come from accepting friend requests too quickly. Regarding facebook/linkedin requests, my only concern is what impression I may be sending when I am the one who reaches out for friendship. In my opinion, all of the onus of impression lies with the person who initiated the request.

    The other part of your entry that interests me is that facebook notified you that you’re reaching their limit for for requests not acted upon. My initial thought was, “So what?” What are they going to do if you hit 1000? Call you a “meanie” and send a box of tissues to each tearful potential friend who is longing for an answer? I’m sure they can’t auto-accept these (legally). I’m wondering if they can auto-reject them?

    • I like that, Trev–the onus of the impression is with the person who initiated, not the speed of the response. That changes my perspective.

      The Facebook limit is weird! I’m guessing they won’t allow people to send more requests to me after I reach that limit? I’m not sure.

  4. You ARE being ridiculous. If you want to accept, go ahead and accept or deny as warranted. Everyone is either sitting at a computer or has their phone in their pocket at all times. In most personal cases if you haven’t responded within 24 hours you just don’t want to respond.

    I don’t think it makes you look “desperate” to respond in a timely fashion. Why would you care anyway? They are the one asking to be your friend and for your approval.

    Noe, whether you should be friends with everyone or not is a completely different discussion.

  5. Jamey,

    I’m quite reticent to accept any request. While I generally subscribe to the notion: Accept only those who you know, I’ve certainly made exceptions. These exceptions come in the form of…well, at least two other friends who I do know have this person as a “friend” thus I’m more confident that this isn’t some spam job. One look at someone’s profile is usually enough for me to make a decision.



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