I’ve known for a while that this day would come: The current recommended age for a man’s first colonoscopy is 45, so I signed up after my annual checkup and underwent the procedure last week.
Overall, the experience was entirely fine. It was certainly different than anything I’ve done before (mostly in terms of the prep), but at most it was a minor inconvenience that could have had a huge impact on my health in terms of prevention and early detection. Fortunately, no polyps were found, so I’m good for another 10 years.
Prep in Advance
The biggest thing I didn’t know about a colonoscopy is that it’s recommended that you change your diet 4-5 days in advance. No seeds, nuts, popcorn, raw fruits, raw veggies…all of which comprise approximately 90% of my diet as a vegetarian/pescatarian. Instead, I ate things like bagels, soup, curry, rice, white bread, and eggs. It was fine, but I missed my daily spinach salad and orange.
The Day Before
The day before the colonoscopy, you can’t eat any solid food–only clear-ish liquids. I was worried I would feel really weak and get a headache, but I actually felt fine. A few substances that helped were broth and lemon sorbet.
The Purge
At 4:00 the day before the procedure, the process of the purge began with 2 anti-constipation pills, a bottle of magnesium citrate (to which I added a little bit of instant ramen flavoring, which helped), and 32 ounces of clear Gatorade mixed with half a container of Miralax. All of that was easy. I wasn’t sure it was working until…well, things started happening around 8:00. A few people had told me that I would need to camp out in the bathroom, but I just continued work/life as normal, and whenever my body told me it was time to go, I went. I was truly amazed by how much came out of my body, especially considering that I hadn’t eaten for 24 hours.
The purge continued the next morning with another 32 ounces of Gatorade and the other half of the Miralax. More time on the toilet, and then the time came when I couldn’t ingest anything else. That’s around 3 hours before the procedure. By the end of that time I was feeling dehydrated, but I knew the end was near.
The Procedure
It’s weird to lay in a hospital bed with an IV when you’re not sick. The only hiccup that happened while I waited was that I had to go to the bathroom two more times, so I learned how to carry around an IV bag with one hand while clutching a hospital gown with the other.
For the colonoscopy itself, I was sedated and don’t remembe any of it. There were no painful after-effects at all (you don’t have nerves inside your colon). For whoever meets you on the other side–you need a ride home–I recommend having them record you coming out of the anesthesia, as apparently you can be quite talkative even before you’re fully conscious. I apparently kept thanking the doctor and nurse, asking what time it was, and bragging about the peanut butter and honey sandwich I had waiting for me in the car.
The Night After
I had read that eating simple foods is recommended after a colonoscopy, and I was feeling good after my sandwich. So for dinner we got some pasta from a local Italian restaurant. I truly don’t know if it was the greasy/salty pasta or the colonoscopy, but I ended up quite sick later in the night. It’s probably an outlier, but just in case, in the future I’ll keep it simple instead of indulging.
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If you haven’t had a colonoscopy, hopefully this reassures you a certain extent that it’s fine and normal. If you have had one, do you have any memorable moments or advice from the experience?
Jamey, this year I’m turning 43, and as a healthcare worker, thank you for getting this important screening done! So many patients refuse to get basic screenings done or take simple measures to improve health, so I’m glad to know you are a model patient! Even with your words of encouragement, I’m certain to be filled with dread in two years haha.
There are patients that are hesitant or fearful moreso than “refusing” to get these things done. Thankfully I’d found wisdom from a GenX group on Facebook that had several threads of advice and information. Armed with that info, I advocated for myself and insisted that I have the environment I needed to make this doable for me. Other than one of the nurses trying to physically battle me when I moved my arm to a more comfortable position, it went well. People really hype up the agony talking about the prep. It was not explosive, gassy, painful, or forceful as I’d been led to believe.
The first thing I did was tell them I’d need the pills. Yes, there are pills. I didn’t have to drink a gallon of sugar water and Colon Blow. I took the pills and drank my usual water. I also had them put me all the way out. It’s unfortunate that I had to advocate very hard to get that basic care, but it was worth it to have gotten through everything unscathed. I am not apprehensive at all about getting another colonoscopy under the same circumstances.
This is Sara, by the way – I tell the thing to save my info, but it still defaults to anon. Le sigh.
Happy to share! Check back in a few years with your story. 🙂
I supposedly kept telling my doctor how beautiful she is, over and over…. 🙂
Perhaps it’s a good sign about human nature that we seem to be nice and grateful when we’re in that lucid state. 🙂
Jamey,
Good for you! IT is one of the easiest things you can do to significantly reduce your chances of colon cancer. My father passed at 68 due to colon cancer and as I had my first at 38 years old. I’ve had for since then, and yes, while the prep can prove difficult, the anesthesia-induced sleep is pretty good and you ca enjoy a good meal afterwards. All the best!
Cheers,
Joe
I’m so sorry that colon cancer got your father, Joe, and I’m glad your colonoscopies have gone well.
Jamey, I don’t know if you have a delicate constitution or what. My brother goes out for a burger after his scopes. He also says he experiences weakness the day of the procedure. I don’t know if I cheated anything, but I made my broth from scratch and used the base for what is normally egg drop soup, so there’s lots of spring onion and fresh ginger flavoring it. I did that on purpose for the antinausea properties of ginger and also to know how much sodium I was getting. I didn’t even think of lemon sorbet – I had lemon Jell-O which was tolerable, but I much prefer orange. Can’t have orange due to red dye, so lemon it was. I will absolutely make sorbet for next time. We have access to our neighbor’s lemon tree.
Dude – get the pills for the prep next time. The availability of pills was what made me get the procedure for the first time at 55. My dad died of colon cancer at 61, so I’m surprised the docs didn’t push me for an actual scope over Cologuard all these years. They found two polyps, so I feel good about having had it done. Glad your experience wasn’t too unpleasant.
Your fresh sorbet sounds even better than my store-bought version!
I did take 2 pills at the beginning, but I genuinely didn’t mind drinking a bunch of Gatorade with Miralax–it tasted fine, and I drink a lot of water anyway every day. But I’m glad you found the right fit for you, and I hope those polyps stay away.
I mean taking 12 pills with whatever clear fluids (in my case water) and zero miralax. I haven’t made sorbet in years, so I’m happy to have the challenge anyway. I’m just kinda kicking myself for not thinking of it in the first place. I bet I could do orange as well since there would be no red dye to interfere with anything.
I did look up orange (a local place makes a great tangerine sorbet), but orange isn’t allowed either.