How to Cure Hiccups in 6 Easy Steps

I got a case of the hiccups at the worst possible time this weekend.

On Thursday, I strained my lower back, leading to me hobbling around like an old man and not sleeping well that night. It was feeling better on Friday, but while I was out at lunch, I took an awkward sip of soda, and suddenly I had the hiccups. Normally they’re annoying, but with my back tightening at each instance, it was quite painful.

When I got home, I decided to try a series of methods to rid myself of the affliction as soon as possible. Miraculously, it worked, and I thought I’d share the method with you in case you’re ever in this situation. The only problem is that because I tried so many different methods in rapid succession, I don’t know which method or which combination of methods did the trick. To be safe, if it happens to me again, I’ll do all of these again in the same order.

Step 1: Eat two Tums, one red and one orange.

Step 2: Lay down and try to relax for 2 minutes.

Step 3: Inhale and then exhale hard. Repeat for 2 minutes.

Step 4: Eat a spoonful of peanut butter.

Step 5: Gulp down a glass of water as quickly as possible.

It’s after step 5 that my hiccups completely went away. Like, it went from one hiccup every 10 seconds to zero, zilch. However, just to make sure they didn’t return, I added one more step.

Step 6: Have a fluffy orange cat named Walter sit on your belly for 10 minutes.

I know that last step may be difficult for most people to achieve. It will likely require a trip to your local animal shelter to acquire a fluffy orange cat, but it’s worth it, because hiccups are the worst.

Have you ever instantly cured yourself of the hiccups? What was your method?