How Do You Not Look Suspicious (While Doing Something Suspicious)?

Every 50 days, I walk into the grocery store and do something that appears very suspicious.

One of my cats, Biddy, has diabetes. So part of his daily routine is to get injected with insulin. He doesn’t seem to mind–I think he knows it makes him feel better. Plus, he only gets a tiny dose at this point, as his weight is way down from a few years ago.

The problem is that I need to buy insulin syringes on a regular basis from the pharmacy. Based on their reaction every time I ask to buy a box of syringes for my cat, they don’t get a lot of people asking to do that.

Guess who else tries to buy syringes, according to a pharmacist friend? Drug addicts.

Today was syringe-buying day for me, and I realized that I don’t know how to act when I’m trying not to look suspicious (while doing something suspicious). It seemed like an eternity while the pharmacist was tallying the bill, during which time I tried the following:

  • Looking at my phone and not looking at my phone. Which is more normal?
  • Putting my hand in my pocket and not putting my hand in my pocket. Where do you put your hands when you’re trying to act natural?!
  • Looking at the pharmacist, looking behind the pharmacist, and looking intently at my credit card as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

What do you think? Is there anything you do that appears suspicious? How do you not look suspicious?