Top Festivus Grievances of 2013: 11-20

hook-1991-01-gWe’re close to this year’s top Festivus grievances thanks to Bryce’s contribution yesterday. 11-20 were ranked by the illustrious Leo, who–true fact–was an extra in the movie Lincoln. As the thesbian he is, Leo added a few comments in brackets to these grievances.

20. Ambiguous relationship statuses. (someone added: It’s complicated.) [Leo: It’s all about the addition. Too good!]

19. Peter Pan is too often played by a woman. At least Hook got it right.

18. Not knowing to “dress down.” –Vest Guy [Leo: I want to be a vest guy. Embrace it!]

17. Toe socks and shoes that look like feet: You’re being weird to get attention, and you know it.

16. Books with titles that could be the author’s name. We’ll never know if Charlotte Bronte wrote Jane Eyre or of Jane Eyre wrote Charlotte Bronte. [Leo: Well you could…you know…open the book.]

15. The question, “Did you get my e-mail?” Yes, I fucking got it. It’s e-mail. The dog didn’t eat it, nor did my kid paint a rainbow on it. (someone added: So why didn’t you respond?) [Leo: Why indeed!?]

14. Hardees’ “hot ham ‘n cheese” special. If I wanted a ham sandwich, I’d trade a fourth-grader for his lunch.

13. My cats sleep 16 hours a day, but only want to play at 3 am.

12. People who honk 1 second after the light changes. [Leo: I’ll admit it. I honked this morning. Though it was after at least five seconds and was just a tap of the horn. I promise!]

11. When a website says your password is weak. Your mom is weak, website!

Finally tomorrow we’ll get to the Top 10! Do you agree with any of these grievances?

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