Happy Festivus!

Today is Festivus, a fake holiday introduced on the show Seinfeld that I’ve celebrated in jest for many years. In fact, up until 2013, I hosted an annual Festivus party involving feats of strength (a version of beer pong I invented that’s like beer pong meets 4-square), an aluminum pole, and the airing of grievances … Read more

Festivus 2020

Today is the classic Seinfeld-inspired holiday of Festivus. It’s a weird year to celebrate Festivus in any way, because the way I usually celebrate is to post some silly “grievances” about key/memorable events that happened during the year. This year, however, has been no laughing matter at any scale. Millions of people have caught and … Read more

Top 10 Festivus Grievances of All Time

From 2004 to 2013, I hosted an annual Festivus party at my home in December. It started as a relatively small gathering of friends and acquaintances, and it grew to a massive affair where my condo was bursting at the seams with people. Good times. Festivus, if you haven’t heard of it, is a made-up … Read more

The Opposite of Festivus

December 23 is the magical holiday of Festivus. I celebrated much more quietly than previous years. Over the past 10 years I’ve hosted a big annual Festivus house party in which a monumental amount of alcohol is consumed while people write grievances on whiteboards around my condo. This year, with me facing the prospect of a home … Read more

Top Festivus Grievances of 2013: 11-20

We’re close to this year’s top Festivus grievances thanks to Bryce’s contribution yesterday. 11-20 were ranked by the illustrious Leo, who–true fact–was an extra in the movie Lincoln. As the thesbian he is, Leo added a few comments in brackets to these grievances. 20. Ambiguous relationship statuses. (someone added: It’s complicated.) [Leo: It’s all about the addition. Too … Read more

Top Festivus Grievances of 2013: 21-30

After we kicked off this year’s ranking yesterday, we’re back with 21-30. These were hand-selected by my friend Bryce. Caution: There is some slightly adult language among these grievances–words like “penis” and “pee pee.” These are not Bryce’s words. Rather, these are the words of slightly drunk Festivus party attendees. On to the grievances! 30. … Read more

Top Festivus Grievances of 2013: 31-40

It’s time for my annual ranking of the top grievances proposed at my Festivus party. Technically it’s not my ranking, as I wrote a number of the 71 grievances myself. Instead I sent that list of grievances to 4 of the funniest people I know who weren’t at the party due to excuses like “living … Read more

Top 10 Festivus Pet Pleases

The true spirit of Festivus is grieving, not talking about what you’re thankful for. And trust me, there was plenty of grieving last night–my panel of judges will soon be reviewing the grievances for the Top 40 list. But in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I devoted a small section of the whiteboard to pet pleases … Read more