I took a walk with an old friend the other day. I don’t talk many walks simply for the purpose of walking and talking, but it was rather nice. A good way to catch up.
He mentioned a really interesting article that he discovered this summer. The core concept is it recommends that people at the start of new relationships–even on the first date–reveal “your type of crazy.”
I didn’t quite understand what this meant at first, so my friend elaborated that you’re supposed to identify the craziest thing about yourself and share it with the other person. There aren’t really any other boundaries than that, because we all have different things we perceive as “crazy.”
My sense is that the core purpose is to basically put a big red flag on yourself. It’s something we’ve all done when dating someone else–we look out for those red flags. But usually we have to identify them instead of them being self-identified using this new concept. If you both share your type of crazy, you might realize right away that you’re not a good fit.
At least, that’s the idea. The concept is new to me, but my friend says it’s been a huge help for people who have used it.
So what’s my type of crazy? I’m extremely protective of my time. This manifests in a number of ways. Even though I am often a few minutes late, if I’m left waiting for someone else who is late, it really frustrates me. Same with if I perceive someone as wasting my time (say, with something they could have learned by just looking at my company website or Kickstarter blog).
I have a very clear picture as to the upcoming schedule, day by day, hour by hour, for about 5-7 days in the future, and if that schedule changes unexpectedly, it can really throw me off. Sometimes I’m flexible about impromptu changes, but I like to know the exact framework of those changes, and any variations really bother me. Like, if someone says they want to chat or stop by for 15 minutes, but it turns into 30-45 minutes, I get really annoyed.
I’m not justifying this behavior or saying it makes sense–it’s simply my type of crazy. Even as I type this, I can see how it would be important for me to tell a woman within the first few dates. It could save us both a lot of time if it’s a dealbreaker.
What’s your type of crazy? Have you talked about this sort of thing in your relationships?