My online dating days ended many years ago when I made my company my greatest love, but I enjoyed my experiences with Match and OkCupid. This was before Tinder was a thing (or at least before I was aware of it).
In recent years, I had heard of Tinder’s competitor, Bumble, but I wasn’t aware of how it was uniquely different, nor did I know the story about it. That changed today when I listed to an episode of How I Built This featuring Bumble’s founder, Whitney Wolfe.
The key difference between Tinder in Bumble–both dating apps where you’re alerted if (and only if) both parties are interested–is that in Bumble, a conversation only happens if the woman makes the first move (at least, in heterosexual matches). So if I like Annie and Annie likes me, Annie is notified and has 24 hours to contact me through the app. I don’t have the ability to do so.
There are a few reasons for this, according to Wolfe. One is challenging the cultural expectation that men need to make the first move and women need to play hard to get (or wait for the man). I’ve experienced both on Match and OkCupid–I was very selective about the women I contacted, and equally selective when a woman contacted me.
Another reason along those lines is that the men who sign up for Bumble are opting into the process, which is an indication of how they view women and how comfortable they are in their masculinity. This is opposed to other online dating apps that attract men who are notorious for crude first messages or for casting a wide net (sending “Hey” to dozens of women in the hopes that one of them responds).
While I haven’t used it, if I ever re-entered the fray of online dating, I really like the Bumble method for the reasons described above. Have you tried it? What did you think?